Religion


THERE'S A YOUNG JEWISH LADY NAMED CARRIE
TOLD HER FOLKS SHE WAS READY TO MARRY!
HER DAD SAID "COR BLIMEY"
"I HOPE IT'S A HYMIE
AND NOT ANY TOM, DICK OR HARRY"!!

WHEN THE RABBI ANNOUNCED HIS ENGAGEMENT,
IT ONLY INCREASED HIS ENRAGEMENT.
WHEN THE MUM OF THE GIRL
LET HER LIPS SLIGHTLY CURL
HE KNEW THEN JUST WHAT HIS WISE SAGE MEANT!!

WHEN NOAH TOOK THE PAIRS TO THE ARK,
CONDITIONS ON BOARD WERE QUITE STARK.
WHEN HE SENT OUT A DOVE
WHO BROUGHT A SIGN FROM ABOVE,
HE KNEW HE HAD TO FIND SOMEWHERE TO PARK!!

WHEN THE GIRL WENT TO SHUL IN HOT PANTS,
THE RABBIS WERE SHOCKED AND ASKANCE.
THE ELDERS ,IN THEIR TURN,
THIS NEW FASHION DID SPURN,
THE STUDENTS THOUGHT SHE'S WORTH ANOTHER GLANCE!!

MR.LEVY BUMPED INTO MR. COHEN,
"TELL ME MAX ARE YOU COMING OR GOIN'"
"MY TAX INSPECTER IS DUE
THAT'S ALWAYS A TO-DO,
I'M NOT SURE IF I'M TO-ING OR FRO-ING"!!

OUR TEMPLE HAS FORMED A NEW CHOIR,
THE RANGE IS FROM LOWER TO HIGHER.
THE CHOIRMASTER'S A SHE,
AT REHEARSALS THEY SERVE TEA,
SOME PROFESSIONALS THEY'D NEED TO ACQUIRE!!

THERE'S NO FUTURE FOR OUR MOTHERHOOD,
AS YOUNG GIRLS WILL BE MISUNDERSTOOD.
LOW CUT BLOUSES AND SHORT SKIRTS
MAKE THEM ALL LOOK LIKE FLIRTS,
AND GO AGAINST THE RULES OF THE TALMUD!!

JUANITA WHO LIVED IN ESPANA,
CAME TO ISRAEL TO LIVE IN NETANYA.
HER NAME WAS TOO SHREWISH
IT DIDN'T SOUND JEWISH,
SO SHE LOOKED THROUGH THE LIST AND CHOSE VANYA!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG CHOIRBOY NAMED KIM,
WHO ON SUNDAYS SANG HYMN AFTER HYMN.
FROM THE FALL TO THE SPRING
HE WAS HAPPY TO SING,
IN THE SUMMER HE WAS HAPPIER TO SWIM!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG CHOIRBOY NAMED MUIR,
WHOSE THOUGHTS FOR YOUNG GIRLS WERE NOT PURE!
THE COURT HAD HIM CONFINED
TO CLEAN OUT HIS MIND,
THOSE THOUGHTS NOW GET FEWER AND FEWER!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG PRIEST FROM GIB'RALTER,
ON HIS RECORD HE WAS A DEFAULTER.
PICKED UP ONCE OR TWICE
FOR EVENTS THAT WEREN'T NICE,
NOT THE MAN YOU'D EXPECT WITH A PSALTER!!

A YOUNG YESHIVA BOCHER NAMED MOSES
DRESSED IN BLACK FROM HIS HEAD TO HIS TOESES.
HE LEARNED DAY AND NIGHT,
EVEN BY CANDLELIGHT,
HE SO TIRED THAT IN CLASS HE JUST DOZES!!

A YOUNG JEWISH PLAYBOY NAMED YANKEL,
WENT SKI-ING AND BROKE HIS LEFT ANKLE.
HIS MOTHER, "THE DUCHESS"
DIDN'T LIKE HIM ON CRUTCHES,
THE TWO OF THEM OFTEN WOULD RANKLE!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN FROM MIAMI,
WHOSE FRIENDS ALL CONSIDERED HIM BARMY.
HE DRESSED UP IN A SHEET,
AND TOOK TO THE STREET,
AND TELLS ALL HIS FRIENDS HE'S A SWAMI!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG RABBI NAMED HADLEY
WHOSE CONGREGATION TREATED HIM BADLY.
A HOUSE IN A POOR STREET
HE COULD NOT MAKE ENDS MEET,
HE WALKED FROM HIS POST RATHER SADLY.

THE CONGREGATION BUILT A NEW SHUL* *BET KNESSET
THE COMMITTEE SAID "LET'S HAVE A POOL"
THE POOL DREW IN THE FLOCK
AT ALL HOURS OF THE CLOCK,
IT WAS LIKENED TO AN ADULT PLAYSCHOOL!!

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