Nature, Animals


MY ALARM CLOCK GOES OFF WITH A BLEEP.
BUT IT CAN'T ROUSE ME OUT OF MY SLEEP.
I PURCHASED A YOUNG COCK
TO REPLACE THE CLOCK,
AND ALL IT CAN SAY IS "CHEEP,CHEEP"!

WHEN SPRING COMES, ALL NATURE'S ABOUNDING,
LAMBS GAMBOL AND BIRD-SONGS ARE SOUNDING.
YOUNG GIRLS ARE ARRAYED
IN BEST FASHION, DISPLAYED
TO SET ALL YOUNG MALE HEARTS APOUNDING!!

A BLIND GIRL WITH A SEEING EYE DOG
ALWAYS TOOK THE DOG OUT FOR HER JOG.
IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
NO! THAT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT
'TIS MORE LIKE THE "PRINCESS AND THE FROG"!

A BIRD-WATCHER WITH CAM'RA AT HIS SIDE
SPENT SOME TIME, IN THE SAND, IN A "HIDE".
WHEN THE BOY DID NOT SPEAK
BY THE END OF THE WEEK
HE WAS SPIED GOING OUT WITH THE TIDE!!

WHEN I GO FOR A WALK IN THE SUN,
I CAN ASSURE YOU IT'S NOT ALWAYS FUN.
AS THE FASTER I MOVE,
IT IS EASY TO PROVE
THAT PERSPIRATION,LIKE RIVERS,CAN RUN.

A GUY TOOK HIS GAL FOR A WALK,
THEY SAT ON THE GRASS JUST TO TALK.
THEY SCRATCHED AT THEIR PANTS,
THEY'D SAT DOWN ON SOME ANTS,
PASSERS-BY STOPPED TO GIGGLE AND GAWK!!

'TWAS A WONDERFUL NIGHT FOR ROMANCE,
HE WHISPERED HOLDING HER IN A DANCE.
THEY WENT OUT TO THE GRASS
BUT THINGS CAME TO PASS
WHEN HE SUDDENLY TOOK OFF HIS PANTS
Wait for it!!!

SHE CALLED HIM A SEX MANIAC PEST,
TOLD HIM TO GIVE HIS PASSION A REST.
HE FELT LIKE A FOOL
AS HE RACED FOR THE POOL,
HE'D CHOSEN TO SIT ON AN ANT'S NEST!
I told you to wait!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG CHAPPY NAMED COYLE,
WHO ALWAYS BATHED IN PURE OLIVE OIL.
IF HE WENT IN THE SUN
HIS FACE LOOKED LIKE A BUN,
AS HIS PERSPIRATION CAME UP TO THE BOIL!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY NAMED RAE
WHO WAS QUICK IN THE USE OF A SPRAY.
WHETHER CRAWLING OR FLYING,
SHE'D NE'ER GIVE UP TRYING,
SHE HOPED THEY'D NOT LAST OUT THE DAY!!

THE BIRDS KNOW IT'S THE SEASON OF SPRING,
THEIR FEATHERS THEY PREEN AS THEY SING.
THEY DON'T KNOW THE EXACT DATE,
IT IS TIME FOR A MATE,
PERHAPS IT'S TIME FOR A FINAL FLING!!

THERE WAS AN OLD LADY CALLED DORA,
WHOSE HOBBY WAS FAUNA AND FLORA.
AS SHE LIVED ON A PENSION
SHE LIVED UNDER TENSION,
SHE FOUND SHE WAS RICHER ---- AND POORER!!

THERE WAS AN OLD YOKEL CALLED ZEKE,
HADN'T WASHED OR CHANGED CLOTHES FOR A WEEK!
AS HE PASSED THE PIG STY,
THE PIGS STARTED TO CRY,
THEY THOUGHT THAT HE WAS THE FREAK!!

A HORSE LOVER FROM PICADILLY,
WENT WEST TO BE A HILLY-BILLY.
WHEN HE SAW GLORIOUS DEVON,
HE THOUGHT HE HAD REACHED HEAVEN,
BUT HE FOUND NOT A FOAL OR A FILLY!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG RIDER NAMED KEITH,
IN AN ACCIDENT HE LOST ALL HIS TEETH.
HIS FRIENDS SAID HE WAS PLUCKY,
HE SAID HE WAS LUCKY,
AT LEAST HE DID NOT NEED A WREATH.!!

I HAD A YOUNG PUPPY NAMED DUDDLEY,
SO SMALL, VERY CUTE AND SO CUDDLEY.
HE WASN'T HOUSE TRAINED,
AND SOME TEMPERS WERE STRAINED,
HIS FAILING WAS THAT HE WAS TOO PUDDLEY!!

MY FRIEND HAS A FIERCE BULLDOG NAMED MARK,
WHOSE BITE WASN'T AS BAD AS HIS BARK.
TO THOSE NOT INVITED
HE SOUNDED VERY EXCITED,
HE IS FEARSOME TO MEET IN THE DARK!!

I HAVE A NICE DOG, AN ALSATION,
WHEN I BOUGHT HIM,, HE'D A REPUTATION.
ONE DAY HE WENT WILD,
HE BIT A SMALL CHILD
WITHOUT ANY JUSTIFICATION!!

AN ARMED COWBOY CARRYING A SIX-SHOOTER,
HATED HORSES SO HE USED A SCOOTER.
NOT A VESPA OR A BIKE,
HE WOULD FOOT PUSH A "TRIKE"*
THE COWS KNEW THE ROUGH SOUND OF HIS HOOTER.
* Trike is a three wheeler

A YOUNG SHEPHERD LIVED WHERE IT WAS BLEAK,
OFTEN NE'ER SAW THE SUN FOR A WEEK.
HIS SHEEP WERE SOAKING WET,
AS WHITE AS THEY WOULD GET,
HE AND HIS SHEEP HAD JOINTS THAT WOULD CREAK!!

A CAMEL'S RELATIVE A CALLED A YAK
WAS USED TO LARGE WEIGHTS ON HIS BACK.
WHEN HIS DRIVER SLEPT IN
CONSIDERED A LARGE SIN,
HE WAS, SAD TO SAY, GIVEN THE SACK!!

I ONCE HAD A MOST FAVOURITE PET
WHOM I HAD TO TAKE TO THE VET.
HE LAY THERE UNMOVING
NO SIGN OF IMPROVING,
THE PET WAS AS DEAD AS HE WOULD GET!

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