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A BROKER WITH A WONDERFUL SCHEME
WAS DRIVEN TO A FINAL EXTREME.
AS HE LEAPT TO HIS END
FROM THE FLAT OF HIS FRIEND,
HIS LAST SCHEME PROVED TO BE A PIPE-DREAM!!
THE STOCK MARKET'S A RISKY AFFAIR,
YOU CAN BE RICH IF YOU HAVE THE FLAIR.
THIS LIFE IS NOT FOR ME
ONE MUST SURELY AGREE
AS I DON'T KNOW A BULL FROM A BEAR!!
WE LIVE IN A TIME OF RECESSION,
(THE MEDIA CREATED THAT IMPRESSION).
IT'S NO TIME TO DRINK,
BUT TO TALK AND TO THINK,
AND RAISE YOURSELF FROM YOUR DEPRESSION!!
SUPERMARKET SHOPPING: A DAY FULLY SPENT,
ARMED WITH A LIST AND FULL OF INTENT!
TO BUY WHAT YOU NEED,
NOT TO BUY THINGS FROM GREED,
AT THE TILL DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE CASH WENT?
ECONOMICALLY WITH MONEY OF PLASTIC,
BUYING GOODS IS A PLEASURE FANTASTIC.
WITH A LITTLE WHITE CARD
IT IS NOT VERY HARD,
ONE'S OVERDRAFT BECOMES LIKE ELASTIC!!
WHEN THE CATALOGUE ARRIVED THROUGH THE MAIL,
IT HAD PLENTY OF ITEMS FOR SALE.
I LEAFED THROUGH THE PAGES
BUT I BELIEVED IN MY SAGES,
"WITHOUT CASH, MY SON, IT'S OF NO AVAIL"
MY DAD HAD A SISTER NAMED MAUD
WHO SURPRISED US WHEN SHE WED A LORD.
SHE BECAME A REAL LADY
EVEN IF HE WAS SHADY,
WITH HER MONEY HE VANISHED ABROAD.
THERE IS A YOUNG LADY NAMED HOLLY,
WHOSE DISPOSITION IS LISTED AS JOLLY.
IF SHE GOES TO THE MALL
SHE'LL GET INTO A BRAWL,
SHE'S A MENACE WHEN PUSHING A TROLLEY.
AN OIL DEALER FROM THE STATE OF KUWAIT
WAS THE BEST SALESMAN THEY HAD IN THE STATE.
HE WAS QUITE GOOD AT POKER,
WHICH WAS GOOD FOR A BROKER,
THE CARDS OFTEN CONCLUDE A DEAL'S FATE!!
A SOAPMAKER HAD FOLLOWED HIS DAD
INTO BUSINESS WHICH HADN'T BEEN BAD.
SOAPS PLAIN AND SOAPS SCENTED
FROM AN OLD WAREHOUSE THEY RENTED
THEY NOW EXPORT FROM ROME TO BAGHDAD.
AN AGENT, A FIFTEEN PERCENTER,
REPRESENTED A SMALL TIME INVENTER.
HE INVENTED AN ITEM
THAT SOLD AD INFINITUM,
THE AGENT'S NOW AN EXPERIMENTER!!
OUR C.E.O. WAS PROMOTED: TO REJOICE
HE PURCHASED A NEW MODEL ROLLS-ROYCE.
DRIVING WITH PRECISION
HE WAS IN A COLLISION,
AND YELLED AT THE TOP OF HIS VOICE!!
THERE WAS A YOUNG BROKER CALLED SCOTT
ONE DAY, AT HIS WORK, HE WAS SHOT.
HIS ASSAILANT CONFESSED
AT THE TIME OF ARREST,
IT WAS PART OF A TERRORIST PLOT!!
HE CARRIED CREDIT CARDS AROUND IN A FOLDER,
AS HE USED THEM HE FELT SO MUCH BOLDER.
HE COULD NOT PAY HIS DEBT
WHEN HE BOUGHT A NEW JET,
HE EXPECTED A HAND ON HIS SHOULDER.!!
THERE WAS A YOUNG BROKER NAMED NASH
WHOSE TRANSACTIONS ON WALL STREET WERE RASH,
WHAT HE DECIDED TO BUY
MADE THE EXPERTS ALL CRY,
HIS BEST CLIENTS LOST MOST OF THEIR CASH!!
I KNOW A LADY AGED ABOUT FIFTY
ALL HER ADULT LIFE HAD BEEN VERY THRIFTY.
BUT IT MUST TRULY BE SAID
THAT THE MAN THAT SHE WED
WAS WORTHLESS, A ROTTER AND SHIFTY!!
A BUSINESSMAN WHOM I'LL CALLED SHANE,
IN HIS OFFICE HE'D START TO RAISE CAIN.
HIS C.E.O., A BRIGHT LAD
SAID HIS BOSS HAD GONE MAD,
AND THE BUSINESS WOULD GO "DOWN THE DRAIN"!!
THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY NAMED GILLIAN,
WHOSE BROTHER CALLED HER "THE SILLY 'UN"
SHE WORKED HARD, AND MADE CASH
NO LONGER SLAP-DASH,
SHE'D BE FIRST IN THE STREET WITH A MILLION!!
THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW FROM WHEELING,
WHO MADE EXTRA FROM ILLICIT DEALING!
HE GAVE HIMSELF AIRS.
HAD NO WORRIES OR CARES,
'TIL THE COPS PICKED HIM UP IN DARJEELING!!
AN ASSISTANT C.E.O. CALLED JAN
WAS ALWAYS LEFT TO "CARRY THE CAN".
WHEN IT CAME TO PROMOTION
THIS RAISED A COMMOTION,
HE WAS LISTED AS AN ALSO-RAN!!
THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN FROM PORTHCAWL,
HE WAS CLEVER FROM WHEN HE COULD CRAWL.
HE READ NOT "THE THREE BEARS"
BUT PREFERRED STOCKS AND SHARES,
NOW HE'S IN THAT STREET THAT IS CALLED "WALL"!!
THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY NAMED BETTY
AND, IF HER FAMILY NAME HADN'T BEEN GETTY,
MALES WOULD NEVER ESCORT HER,
THEY'D RATHER HAD FOUGHT HER,
BUT HER CASH COULD NOT BE CALLED PETTY!!
I HAVE NOT ENOUGH CASH FOR THE RENT,
THE MONEY I HAD IS ALL SPENT.
LIKE A RIVER FAST FLOWING
THE MONEY KEPT GOING,
I SHALL HAVE TO STOP LIVING FOR LENT!!
I ONCE HAD A GIRLFRIEND NAMED ROSIE,
WHEN WE SNUGGLED UP IT WAS SO COSY.
WHEN SHE ASKED ABOUT MONEY,
THAT WASN'T SO FUNNY,
IN FACT I THOUGHT IT WAS TOO NOSEY!!
THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW CALLED DANNY,
WHO IN BUSINESS WAS TERRIBLY CANNY.
IT WAS ONLY A SMALL STALL
AT OUR NEW LOCAL MALL,
IT WAS M & S IN THE EYES OF HIS GRANNY!!
I ONCE HAD A GIRLFRIEND NAMED DIDI,
WHOSE EYES WERE SO TERRIBLY BEADY.
THE PRESENTS SHE GOT
(AND THERE WERE A LOT)
WEREN'T ENOUGH. SHE WAS ALSO SO GREEDY!!
A STREET SALESMAN HAD A VERY GOOD PATTER,
WHAT HE SAID IN HIS SPIEL DIDN'T MATTER.
"HOW AND WHAT I MAY SAY
HELPS US TO MAKE A GOOD DAY,
IT MOVES LOTS OF STOCK WHICH IS SCHMATTER"
HE WAS TALL, HE WAS DARK, HE WAS TENDER,
HE WAS KNOWN AS AN EXTRAVAGENT SPENDER.
AS SHE LAY IN HIS ARMS
SHE EXPLOITED HIS CHARMS,
BUT TO HER WHIMS HE WOULDN'T SURRENDER!!
THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL CALLED HORTENSE,
ENDOWED WITH MORE MONEY THAN SENSE.
WHEN A GUY SHE CALLED SUNNY
CONNED HER OUT OF HER MONEY,
THERE WENT ALL HER POUNDS AND HER PENCE!!
A BUDDING YOUNG WRITER CALLED MONA,
WROTE SAGAS ABOUT ARIZONA.
HER FIRST LENGTHY STORY
BROUGHT HER GREENBACKS AND GLORY,
IN THAT STATE SHE'S A WEALTHY LANDOWNER!!
A MODERN YOUNG LADY CALLED HONEY,
MARRIED FOR LOVE-SHE REALLY LOVED MONEY!
HER MAN TOLD HER ONE DAY
THEIR BILLS THEY COULD NOT PAY,
SHE PACKED UP AND SAID "NOT VERY FUNNY"!!
A MIDDLE CLASS MAN FROM EAST LYME,
FELT HE HAD JUST PASSED HIS PRIME.
HE LOOKED DOWN AT HIS WATCH,
"IT'S BEEN NICKED! O!MY GOSH!
SOMEONE 'S GOT THEIR HANDS ON MY TIME!!
THERE WAS A YOUNG STUDENTNAMED CLARKE,
WHOSE EYES GLOWED LIKE A WOLF'S IN THE DARK.
WHEN THE NEW MOON WAS QUITE ROUND,
HE MADE A STRANGE SOUND,
A CROSS BETWEEN A GROWL AND A BARK!!
WHEN YOU BUY SOME TINNED FOOD FOR A PET,
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'LL ACTUALLY GET.
WITH A LARGE APPETITE,
EATING ALL DAY AND NIGHT.,
YOU MAY SIMPLY GET RUN INTO DEBT!!
SHE SELLS SEA-SHELLS DOWN ON THE SEA-SHORE,
AS SHE SELLS SHELLS SHE'S BREAKING THE LAW.
SHE HAS NO LICENCE TO SELL,
EVEN ONE TINY SEA-SHELL,
SHE'S OPENED A SEA-SHELL SELLING STORE!!
A YOUNG HAIRDRESSER NAMED ANTOINETTE,
WAS THE BEST AT WAVE, SHAMPOO AND SET.
BUT TO GO EVERY WEEK
CAUSED THEIR SPOUSES TO SHREIK
"AT HER PRICES YOU'LL PUT ME IN DEBT"!!
THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY NAMED VIVA
WHO WAS IN THE HANDS OF A RECEIVER.
HER BUSINESS HAD GONE SMASH,
SHE OWED SO MUCH CASH,
OF ADVICE SHE WAS A NON-BELIEVER!!
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