English Language


An Example of English sounds and spelling.
OMB pronounced OME, OOM, and OM.

IN A HASTILY DUG SHALLOW TOMB
A BODY WAS FOUND IN THE FLUME.
THE POLICE TOOK IT EASY
ALTHOUGH THEY FELT QUEAZY,
THEY DID NOT WANT TO CAST CLOUDS OF DOOM.

"FOR CLUES WE SHALL USE A FINE TOOTH-COMB,
WE DON'T WANT TO CONFINE FOLK TO THEIR HOME.
IF WE MAKE AN ARREST
THEY WILL ALL BE IMPRESSED,
THEY'LL CONTINUE TO GO OUT AND ROAM!"

THE POLICE SHOUTED THROUGH THEIR INTER-COM,
"WE'VE FOUND OUR MAN DOWN AT THE PROM!
WE'LL KEEP OUT OF HIS SIGHT
AS HE GOT DYNAMITE,
HE MAY BLOW US ALL UP WITH HIS BOMB.

Examples of English sounds and spelling.
OUGH pronounced UFF, OFF, OW, OO and OWE

MY FRIEND SLEPT IN A TENT IN THE ROUGH,
HE SAID THAT IT MADE HIM FEEL TOUGH!
WHEN HE TURNED IN AT NIGHT,
HIS GIRLFRIEND WAS CONTRITE,
WHEN SHE SAW THAT HE SLEPT IN THE BUFF.

FROM THIS LIFE HE DEVELOPED A COUGH,
SO BAD THAT IT CARRIED HIM OFF.
ALL THE ANIMAL LIFE
CAME-AND SO DID HIS WIFE,
HE WAS LAID TO REST JUST LIKE A TOFF.

THE BIRDS, THEY STAYED UP ON THE BOUGH,
ROUND THE GRAVE STOOD HORSES AND A COW.
THE WIFE SAID "MY GOSH
HE DON'T 'ARF LOOK POSH
I WONDER WHERE HE'S ORF TO NOW"!!

AFTER THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WE WENT THROUGH,
IT SEEMS THAT WIVES HE HAD QUITE A FEW.
HE USED TEN DIFFERENT NAMES,
TEN WIVES ALL MADE CLAIMS,
AND CHILDREN HE HAD TWENTY TWO.

EACH WIFE THOUGHT HE LEFT PILES OF DOUGH,
FOR THEM THIS IS A TALE OF SOME WOE.
IT IS SO SAD TO SAY
IT WAS ALL WASTED AWAY,
ON ACTIVITIES OF WHICH WE DIDN'T KNOW!!

A TWO VERSE STORY DEDICATED TO AGONY AUNTS
IN THE MEDIA!!

AN OLD LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER CALLED GABBY,
USED TO WRITE LOTS OF MAIL TO "DEAR ABBEY".
HE MOANED AND LAMENTED
IF NOT TRUE HE INVENTED,
HE WAS OLD, HE WAS SHORT AND WAS FLABBY.

HE KEPT ALL THE REPLIES HE RECEIVED,
HE SAID THAT THEY MUST BE BELIEVED.
DURING LONG LONELY NIGHTS
DURING FAULTS WITH THE LIGHTS,
HE SAW THE LIGHT THAT DEAR ABBEY CONCEIVED!!!

A YOUNG BOY OF THE STREETS WITH A STUTTER,
WAS OFTEN HEARD BY HIS FRIENDS TO MUTTER.
"PLEASE MAKE ME SPEAK W-WELL
TO HELP M-ME LEAVE THIS HELL,
I WANT TO G-GET OUT OF THE G-GUTTER!!"

THERE WAS A MAN, WHO, AS A YOUTH
HIS DAILY LANGUAGE WAS VERY UNCOUTH.
HEARING HIM CURSE AND SWEAR
PEOPLE STILL STOP TO STARE,
EVEN NOW, THOUGH HE'S LONG IN THE TOOTH!!

THE TENDERFOOT FROM THE EAST WAS CALLED DUDE,
HE COULD NOT DO VERY MUCH BUT EAT FOOD.
HE COULD NOT RIDE THE STEEDS,
OR ATTEND TO THEIR NEEDS,
BUT THE LANGUAGE HE LEARNT WAS REAL CRUDE!!

I ONCE KNEW A YOUNG FELLOW NAMED PERCE,
AN AUSSI, HE DID NOTHING BUT CURSE.
IF HIS LANGUAGE WAS PURE,
AND HIS CURSE WORDS WERE FEWER,
I'D HAVE NOTHING TO SAY IN THIS VERSE!!

I KNOW A M-M-MAN WITH A STUTTER,
HE STILL MAKES GIRL'S HEARTS G-G-G0 AFLUTTER!
HE WAS M-MARRIED IN JUNE,
FOR THEIR H-HONEYMOON,
THEY WENT TO C-C-C-CALCUTTA!

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