Education


IN SCHOOL, I HAD A FRIEND, "MAD" BOB REA,
WHO SLID DOWN A LONG SLIDE ON A TRAY.
HE LOST ALL HIS CONTROL,
HIT A RATHER DEEP HOLE,
TA RA RA RA RA BUM DE AY!!

AT THIS TIME IN OUR SCHOOLS IT IS SAID
THAT THE PUPIL NEED NOT USE HIS HEAD.
NO LONGER HE FIDGETS
AND COUNTS ON HIS DIGITS,
HE MANIPULATES BUTTONS INSTEAD!!

A YOUNG GIRL TEACHER OF A BOYS CLASS
TOOK FAVOURS TO ALLOW THEM TO PASS.
HER SPOUSE OFTEN AWAY
CAME HOME EARLY ONE DAY
AND SHOT A POOR BOY IN HIS A**!

A PRETTY YOUNG STUDENT FROM GIRTON
WENT OUT ONE DAY WITHOUT HER SHIRT ON.
WHEN CHASED IN THE WOOD
RAN AS FAST AS SHE COULD,
WAS NEARLY CAUGHT-TILL SHE PUT A SPURT ON!!

IF YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW,JOIN A CLASS.
TO COOK,SPEAK OR POTTER IN BRASS.
AN APPLE FOR TEACHER
MAY HELP YOU TO REACH 'ER
IF YOU'RE LUCKY,YOU MIGHT RATE A PASS!

A CLEVER SCHOOL PUPIL NICKNAMED FREUD
DURING LESSONS COULD BE VERY ANNOYED.
HE WAS EXPECTED TO KNOW
LIKE AN EXPERT ON SHOW
THAT HIS MIND WAS THAT OF A HUMANOID!!

THERE WAS A SCHOOLBOY CALLED DUNSANY,
WHO, IN CLASS, HAD THE NICKNAME OF "BRAINY".
HIS PARENTS SPOILT HIM ROTTEN,
HE WAS KEPT WRAPPED IN COTTON,
ESPECIALLY IF THE WEATHER TURNED RAINY!!

IN ISRAEL WHEN GIRLS ATTEND SCHOOL,
IN SUMMER THEY DRESS TO KEEP COOL.
YOU CAN BELIEVE ME OR NOT,
IT MAKES THE BOYS FEEL HOT,
THE HEAD'S CHANGING THE GIRLS' UNIFORM RULE!!

AT AN EXAM AN INVIGILATOR
WAS ASKED "PLEASE MISS, WHAT IS THE EQUATOR?"
SHE REPLIED "I DON'T KNOW"
THE KIDS TOLD HER TO GO,
SHE WENT STRAIGHT TO HER DEFIBRILLATOR!!

A COLLEGE LECTURER WHOSE WORK WAS IN TRING,
ISSUED HOMEWORK FOR HIS STUDENTS TO BRING
IN FOR THEIR NEXT SESSION.
(IF YOU'LL EXCUSE THE EXPRESSION)
ASKED "WAS THIS DONE WHILST YOU WERE FREETHINKING?"

A YOUNG SCHOOLBOY WHO LIVES NEAR THE FENS,
WAS FITTED WITH STRONG CONTACT LENS.
NOW WHILST IN HIS CLASSES
WITHOUT USING HIS GLASSES,
HE CAN SEE THE HOMO SAPIENS!!

THERE IS A YOUNG STUDENT NAMED ORME,
AROUND WHOM ALL THE GIRL STUDENTS SWARM.
HE'S REPUTED WEALTHY
THIS ATTRACTION'S NOT HEALTHY,
IT'S THE RIOT BEFORE THE BRAINSTORM!!!

A YOUNG DIPLOMAT FROM KABUL.
WHOSE PARENTS NEVER SENT HIM TO SCHOOL.
RECEIVED LESSONS AT HOME
FROM A TEACHER FROM ROME,
IN HIS JOB HE HAS PROVED HE'S NO FOOL.!!!

A FRENCH STUDENT, A BOY NAMED JEAN-LUC,
IS ALWAYS FOUND WITH HIS HEAD IN A BOOK.
'WAS NOT GENDARMES OR POLICE,
NOT EVEN "WAR & PEACE"
HE WAS TRYING TO LEARN HOW TO COOK!!

A FORMER TEACHER FROM THE UKRAINE
SAID WHEN HE WAS AT SCHOOL HE'D A CANE.
SIX STROKES ON THE BEHIND
WAS QUITE APT TO REMIND
THE RECIPIENT-DON'T DO IT AGAIN.

A YOUNG STUDENT WHO WENT TO NIGHT CLASSES,
FOUND THAT THAT DIDN'T EVEN RATE PASSES.
WHEN HE PAID HIS NEXT FEE,
HE SAID "I DON'T SEE"
HIS LECTURER SAID "TRY WEARING GLASSES"

A MAN RECENTLY OUT OF THE FORCES
DECIDED TO SIT FOR SOME COURSES.
HE HAD DEGREES IN A FEW
MANY OTHERS HE KNEW,
BUT HE LIKED PUTTING CARTS BEFORE HORSES!!

TOM GAVE APPLES TO HIS BEST TEACHER,
HIS TRUE FEELINGS SEEM NOT TO REACH HER.
HE KEPT GETTING THE CANE
AGAIN, EVEN AGAIN,
HER CANING ARM WAS HER BEST FEATURE!!

A YOUNG MAN WHO WAS CALLED JEREMIAH,
AT SCHOOL BECAME QUITE A CRIER.
HE GREW UP IN A RACKET,
THAT BROUGHT IN QUITE A PACKET,
IF HE SAYS HE DID NOT, HE'S A LIAR!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG MID-EASTERN SHEIK,
DID NOT WANT TO APPEAR AS A FREAK.
TO ADVANCE HIS KNOWLEDGE
HE WENT OFF TO COLLEGE,
HIS DEGREES ARE IN LATIN AND GREEK!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG INFANT CALLED JULES,
WHO DECIDED TO BREAK ALL LIFE'S RULES.
WHEN TOLD "THAT'S NOT DONE"
HE SAID HE WANTED FUN,
WHATEVER THEY TAUGHT HIM IN SCHOOLS!!

IN MY SCHOOL WAS A TEACHER OF MATH.,
WHO FOLLOWED THE SAME WELL-KNOWN PATH.
WHEN IT CAME TO A TEST
THE KIDS CAME OFF SECOND BEST,
THAT TEACHER'S BEST POINT WAS HIS WRATH!!

IN SCHOOL I LOVED MADAMOISELLE,
IF SHE LIKED ME SHE NEVER WOULD TELL.
EVERY DAY IN HER CLASSES
AT HER I'D MAKE PASSES,
IN MY EYES SHE WAS TOUJOURS TRES BELLE!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG SCHOOLBOY NAMED WAYNE,
WHO CRIED BUCKETS IF HE GOT THE CANE.
WITH HIS HAND LOOKING RED
HE WENT TO DAD AND HE SAID,
"I'VE GOT A LOW THRESHOLD FOR PAIN"!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG STUDENT CALLED FARRELL,
WHO WORE THE MOST AWFUL APPAREL.
WHEN ASKED ABOUT THOSE
HE SAID "YOU MEAN MY CLOTHES"
"I FOUND THEM WHEN SCRAPING THE BARREL"!

THERE WAS A YOUNG SCHOOLBOY NAMED HY,
WHO CAME TO CLASS WEARING A BOWTIE.
HIS TEACHER DIDN'T MIND,
HE WAS ONE OF A KIND,
BUT HIS CLASSMATES COMMENTS MADE HIM CRY!

I ONCE KNEW A HIGH SCHOOL ACTING HEAD,
KNEW ALL THE PUPILS FROM "A" TO "Z".
TALL ONES, FAT ONES, SHORT ONES,
GOOD ONES, FAT ONES, SPORTY ONES,
HE WAS POPULAR UNTIL HE DROPPED DEAD!!

THE GRAND FUNERAL WAS AN EVENT,
MANY WREATHS OF FLOWERS HAD BEEN SENT
THE WORLD OF EDUCATION
CAME TO GIVE ITS ORATION,
EVERY WORD THAT WAS SPOKEN WAS MEANT!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG TOM-BOY NAMED RITCHIE,
WHOSE SCHOOLFRIENDS CALLED HER RATHER BITCHY.
PLAYING ON THE SCHOOL TEAM
NEVER PLAYS TO A SCHEME,
THE COACH AND HER TEACHERS GREW ITCHY!!

AN OVERSEAS STUDENT CALLED CRAWLY
MORE OFTEN THAN NOT SHE FELT POORLY.
HE STUDIED IN HIS ROOM
WITH HER ROOM-MATES HE'D FUME,
THIS WAS NO PLACE FOR A BENGALI!!

THERE WAS A YOUNGISH STUDENT NAMED TROY,
AT UNIVERSITY WAS A PLAYBOY.
HIS RESULTS AT TERM END
LOST HIM MANY A FRIEND,
HE CHANGED FROM A WILD ONE TO A CHOIRBOY!!!

THERE WAS AN APPRENTICE NAMED VELDON
WHO LOVED WORDS OF PRAISE SUCH AS "WELL DONE"
HE'D GO HOME FULL OF JOY
THIS HARD WORKING BOY,
HE WON'T BE OUTSHONE BY ANYONE.

THERE WAS AN ACADEMIC NAMED VERNE
WHO EAT FAST FOOD WHICH GAVE HIM HEARTBURN
HIS STIPEND WHICH WAS LOW
UPSET HIS STATUS QUO
HIS MENU WOULDN'T STRETCH TO SAUTERNES!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG STUDENT NAMED ETTA
WHOSE CONDITIONS AT HOME COULD'VE BEEN BETTER.
SHE FACED ADVERSITY
AT UNIVERSITY,
BECAUSE SHE WORE A VERY TIGHT SWEATER.

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