Current Affairs


THE SOVIET UNION HAS EXPERIENCED A COUP,
THE NEW REGIME DIDN'T KNOW WHAT DO DOUP.
AS IT TURNED TO A FAILURE,
THEY REALIZED "WE'VE NO SALE" 'ERE,
THE LEADERS PROMPTLY TOOK OFF-THEY JUST FLOUP!!

A MEETING WAS HELD OF SADDAM'S DOUBLES,
IT WAS HELD ON ONE OF BAGHDAD'S RUBBLES.
"IN AN AIR-RAID, PLEASE STAY CALM
SADDAM LOST HIS RIGHT ARM"
"I'M AFRAID THIS WILL ADD TO YOUR TROUBLES!!"

TV VIEWERS WILL KNOW THE NAME SPRINGER,
HE IS CERTAINLY, IN NO WAY, A SINGER.
WITH HAIR LIKE DRIED COPRA
HE'S PORTRAYED IN AN OPERA,
HIS PORTRAYER IS A VERY GOOD RINGER

HE TOOK OVER IN A QUICK COUP D'ETAT.
THE SHORTEST IN THE HISTORY, BY FAR.
THE VICTOR JOINED IN THE TOAST,
"TO ME, I AM THE MOST
IMPORTANT, I'M A MID-EAST SUPERSTAR"!

WHEN THE SIRENS WENT, WE RUSHED HELTER-SKELTER
TO FIND A NEARBY AIR RAID SHELTER.
IN WINTER OR THE SPRING
WE'D SLEEP, DANCE OR SING,
'TWAS SUMMER THAT CAUSED US TO SWELTER!!

AN AUTHOR READ OUT HIS SHORT STORY,
THE SUBJECT WAS GRUESOME AND GORY.
THE AUDIENCE WEEPING
DOORWARDS THEY WERE CREEPING,
THEY'D COME TO HEAR TALES OF AMORE!!

MANY MEN DO NOT MAKE WILD PASSES
AT GIRLS WHO KEEP WEARING THEIR GLASSES!
THE RESULT'S CONTACT LENSES
FROM THE HILLS TO THE GLENSES,
BEING WORN BY MILLIONS OF LASSES!!

TODAY, WHEN ONE GOES ON A FLIGHT,
A LONG TRIP, BY THE DAY AND BY NIGHT,
THERE'S SO MUCH TO BE SEEN
ON ONE'S PERSONAL SCREEN,
IT DISTRACTS ONE FROM GETTING QUITE TIGHT!!

NEWS ITEM
THE RAPE IN SPAIN HAD NOTHING TO GAIN
FOR THE FOOTBALLERS IT WAS A STAIN.
APPEARING IN THE COURT
TENSION WAS HIGHLY TAUT
THE GIRLS CONCERNED SAID THE MEN WERE INSANE.

THE CASE WAS CONTINUALLY WON
BY THE PLAYERS; THE GIRLS CASE WAS UNDONE
BY TRYING FAR TOO HARD
THEY RECEIVED A RED CARD,
THE GIRLS LOST BY THREE TRIES TO NONE.

THERE WAS A PROTESTER NAMED VAN,
WHO WAS REALLY A PARTICULAR MAN.
HE CHOSE IN WHAT HE'D PROTEST
HE WORE HIS BEST COAT AND VEST,
WHEN ARRESTED HE WOULD "CARRY THE CAN"!*
* Took the blame!

A YOUNG MARRIED GIRL FROM HALIFAX
SLEPT EVERY NIGHT ON A PILE OF SACKS.
I CAN'T SAY I ADORED HER,
THE LAST TIME I SAW HER,
SHE AND HER KIDS WERE WEARING BACKPACKS!

THE LOCAL COUNCIL TOOK THEM IN HAND,
THEY NO LONGER HAD TO LIVE ON THAT LAND.
AFTER SHE PRODUCED PROOF
THEY NOW LIVE UNDER A ROOF,
THE NEW STYLE OF LIVING IS JUST GRAND!

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