Communications


A TV ANNOUNCER NAMED PRICE
ATE HIS FOOD HIGHLY FLAVOURED WITH SPICE.
HE HICCOUGHED ON THE AIR
AND APPEARED NOT TO CARE
HIS BOSS SAID "THAT IS NOT VERY NICE"!!

A RADIO HAM CALLED TIM MALONE
OPERATED C.W. AND PHONE. *
HE TALKED NIGHT AND DAY
TO FRIENDS A LONG WAY AWAY
WITH THIS HOBBY HE'S NEVER ALONE.
* c.w. and phone are MorseCode and Telephony in this hobby.

THE POSTMAN WHO DELIVERED HER LETTER
WAS A BLOKE WHO LOVED HER TIGHT SWEATER!
WHEN HE TRIED TO PURSUE
AN ARDOUR OR TWO
HE WAS COOLED BY HER DOG-A RED SETTER!!

THE COMPUTER IS OUR WAY OF LIFE,
AT OUR WORK, IN OUR HOMES AND IN STRIFE!
IN PLANES, SHIPS AND THE CAR
THE COMPUTER'S GONE FAR,
IT'S NOW USED TO MATCH MAN WITH A WIFE!!

EVERY HOME HAS HAD LEAST ONE T.V.
WE LOOK IN AT WHAT WE WANT TO SEE.
FROM ENTERTAINMENT TO CRIME
WE CAN WATCH ALL THE TIME,
ALL THIS FOR A SMALL LICENCE FEE!!

"SANTA BARBARA" AND "DALLAS" ARE SOAPS
WHICH GIVE MUCH OF SUBURBIA HOPES.
HOUSEWIFE GLUED TO THE "BOX"
FEEDS FAMILIES BAGELS AND LOX
AS THEY WATCH RAPES, SEDUCTIONS AND GROPES!!.

IN THESE DAYS OF A.1. AND BYTE,
A COMPUTER CONTROLS DAY AND NIGHT.
IT CAN MAKE A HEART BEAT,
BOOK YOUR FLIGHT AND A SEAT,
IS THIS DONE BY DESIGN--- OR BY RIGHT!!

IF YOU LIKE USING WORDS, USE THE PHONE.
IF THERE'S NO REPLY, AWAIT FOR THE TONE!
JUST LEARN THE TECHNIQUE
HOW, WHEN AND WHAT TO SPEAK,
CARRY ON WITH YOUR MESSAGE, DON'T MOAN!!

T.V. GIVES ITS NEWS WITH IMPUNITY,
THE STAFFS ARE USUALLY GETTING IMMUNITY.
AS WELL AS THEIR VIEWS
THEY GIVE FINANCIAL NEWS
TO PLEASE THE LARGE BUSINESS COMMUNITY!!

TO YOUNG LADIES
YOU WILL SOON HAVE A PHONE WITH A SCREEN,
AS YOU CHAT WITH YOUR FRIENDS, YOU'LL BE SEEN.
WHEN THE PHONE RINGS, DON'T CURSE
SIMPLY REACH FOR YOUR PURSE,
AS YOU SPEAKYOU WILL FEEL YOU MUST PREEN!!

WE TEENAGERS ARE DRAWN TO T.V.
AT THE ADS WE ALL CHORTLE WITH GLEE.
WE HAVEN'T THE MONEY
THIS FACT ISN'T FUNNY,
OUR PARENTS SAY IT DOESN'T GROWN ON A TREE.

A T.V. PRODUCER NAMED SHERRY,
SPENT MOST OF HIS DAYS FEELING MERRY.
WHEN NOT IN PRODUCTION,
HE PRACTICED SEDUCTION,
HE HAS KIDS FROM KILLINCHY TO KERRY!!

OUR COMPUTER'S HIJACKED BY OUR BOYS
IT REPLACES ALL THEIR STANDARD TOYS.
EATING, SLEEPING AND T.V.
ARE NUMBERS ONE TO THREE,
I'LL ADMIT IT IS HANDLED WITH POISE.

THE BODY THAT BELONGS TO JOHN BROWN,
LIES AMOULDERING IN THE EARTH SIX FEET DOWN.
HE WAS BURIED IN STYLE
HE'S BEEN THERE QUITE A WHILE,
I WONDER IF THAT'S WHAT CAUSED HIS FROWN!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY NAMED MAISIE,
ABOUT HER NEW COMPUTER WAS HAZY.
THERE WERE TOO MANY KEYS
SHE COULDN'T HANDLE WITH EASE,
PHONED HER FRIENDS SAYING SHE'S GOING CRAZY!!

I PURCHASED MYSELF A COMPUTER,
AND THEN HUNTED AROUND FOR A TUTOR,
NOW I WRITE TO MAGGIE,
TO JENNY AND AGGIE,
MY JOB'S A COMPUTERISED SUITOR!!

ON T.V. IT SHOULD NOT COME TO PASS
THAT A PLAYER'S FACE DOWN ON THE GRASS.
SHE TOOK A SWIPE AT A LOB,
IT COST HER TRAINER HIS JOB,
FOR THE U.S. SHE'S BEEN LOWERED A CLASS!!

A BRIGHT YOUNG PROGRAMMER NAMED HOWARD,
AT TEN YEARS OLD WAS HIGHLY POWERED,
HE WAS BROUGHT UP ON BYTES,
IGNORED HIS CLASS FIGHTS,
BUT AT TWENTY HIS VISION HAD SOURED!!

AN AMERICAN NEWS READER CALLED SISSAL,
HAD A FIGURE THAT MADE VIEWERS WHISTLE.
HER LISTENERS HEARD NOT THE NEWS,
THEY JUST SAID "AAHS" AND "OOHS"
IT WAS THIS THAT LED TO HER DISMISSAL!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG STUDENT CALLED TRUMAN,
WHO NOW AND AGAIN SEEMED QUITE HUMAN.
IN HIS EXAMS HE WAS TOP,
BUT NOW WORKS IN A SHOP,
LIKE AL BUNDY HE IS A LOW SHOE MAN!!

THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL, A REAL CRACKER,
WHO SPENT ALL HER TIME AS A HACKER!
WHEN HER BOSS FOUND THIS OUT
HE DID JUMP, RAVE AND SHOUT,
WHAT ELSE COULD HE DO THEN---BUT SACK HER!!

A T.V. ADDICT I WILL CALL JOHN DOE
WATCHED ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT, EVERY SHOW!
IF ASKED OUT FOR A WHILE
HE'LL SHAKE HIS HEAD AND SMILE,
"THERE'S SOMETHING TO SEE.""I CAN'T GO"!

A T.V. NEWSCASTER FROM GUINEA
HAD A NAME THAT WAS SHORTENED TO PLINY.
LOTS OF CALLS ON THE PHONE
SAID HER AREA SHOWN
CAME UP ON THE SCREEN AS TOO SKINNY!!

IN MORNINGS AS HE GOT OUT OF BED
'TWAS ESSENTIAL HE HAD A CLEAR HEAD.
HE'D EXPRESS HIS OWN VIEWS
AS HE READ THE FIRST NEWS,
THEN HE'D SWITCH ON HIS TELE INSTEAD!!

A T.V. ANNOUNCER CALLED RODDY
WAS DESCRIBED BY HIS CRITICS AS SHODDY!
THE EYE COULD NOT PERCEIVE
WHAT HIS ADMIRERS BELIEVE,
HE POSSESSED A REMARKABLE BODY!!

A T.V. NEWSCASTERNAMED HEATHER,
READS THE NEWS, BUT REFUSES THE WEATHER.
"WITH THOSE LINES AND THOSE SQUIGGLES
I 'D BREAK OUT IN GIGGLES,
AND I'D SOON REACH THE END OF MY TETHER!

A BROADCASTING FAMILY NAMED HUGHES
HAD A PROGRAMME DEVOTED TO NEWS.
THEIR APPROACH WAS SO LAX
IN SPORTS SHIRTS AND SLACKS,
THE NOVELTY WAS THE NAME -HUGHES NEWS

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